Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
Randomize
