i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
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