I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
