At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
You dont lie about slip and slides
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
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