just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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