wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Randomize
