Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Randomize
