you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
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