would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
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