it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize