i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Randomize
