Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Randomize
