No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
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