i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Randomize
