on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
