I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Randomize
