Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
