True but thats because hes a fetus.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Randomize
