I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
i think i just lost a toe
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Randomize
