if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
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