Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
