I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Randomize
