He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
