omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Randomize
