Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
