Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Randomize
