No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
how drunk are you?
Several
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
