she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
