I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
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