actually, I'm a sock model
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
