I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
