that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
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