im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
