Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Randomize
