he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
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