Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Randomize
