I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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