I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Randomize
