I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
I think my vagina is haunted
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
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