everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
