hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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