And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Randomize
