At least make sure they are 18
Why
I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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