I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
