11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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