she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Enjoy the penises
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Randomize
