butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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