i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
