And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
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