I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
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