I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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