hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
Randomize
