Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
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